


Friends

by orphan_account



Series: RJ’s Sexy Headphones Oneshots [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Be More Chill - Freeform, F/M, FUCK OFF FUJOSHIS, Friends won’t love me like you, Hidden Relationship, Highschool. It sucks., Lies, Rumors, Sharing a Bed, Tears, bmc, sleeping over, thanks Ed Sheeran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 15:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21038708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Friends should sleep in other beds.And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do.And I know that there's a limit to everything,But my friends won't love me like you.





	Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Pan Michael, thanks. 
> 
> Ed sheeran honestly is a god

"We're not, no we're not friends, nor have we ever been."

Brooke Lohst was second in command of Middlebourough High School: she had the beauty and the power, and wouldn't ever mess around with someone lower than her in standards. That's what Chloe taught her, after all. 

Michael Mell was a loser, a loner, whatever you wanted to call him. People wouldn't actively talk about him but knew enough to point him out in a crowd; rumors around drugs ran rampant throughout the school. He was never around anyone popular, and from what anyone could tell, he liked it that way. 

Things were very different from other perspectives. 

After the entire squip incident, things went back to as normal as they could be; except secrets were being held. 

Michael was hooking up with Brooke. And it wasn’t just hooking up, either. 

Yeah, that doesn't seem like a big deal, but with social hierarchy and his relationships with his friends? It's huge. If this got out, Brooke's reputation would be ruined. His would shoot up, and he'd be the popular one for convincing her to fuck around with him. 

He's not some dick and he'd never do that. He and Brooke have more in common than anyone would think; aside the bond they share from Jeremy hurting them. 

Maybe that's why this entire mess started in the first place. Brooke just wanted something to take her mind off what had gone wrong, and Michael needed something to do to distract himself from being home in his basement, high, all the time. 

They'd met at 7/11. 

Brooke had bumped into him on accident, causing his slushie to drop to the tiled floor. Apologizing profusely, she'd tried to pay for a new one or SOMETHING. He'd laughed it off, before asking if she wanted to come back to his place and play video games and talk about trauma. She'd accepted, and once they got to his house, things had spiraled. 

And that's how they're in this scenario now. 

Michael knows that this isn't just a friends with benefits situation anymore.

He’s in love with Brooke, and she knows that. She loves him too. The love they have is unexpected; it’s beautiful and it’s shocking and it’s painful.

It’s a love that stays in the shadows, a love that wants nothing more to break free and make itself known. 

And despite everything that they feel, they can’t. They can’t show up at school one day, arms linked and showing the world that they’re dating.

If they do state that they’re dating? The drama will get to them. Their relationship will be thrown to the wolves and torn to pieces; no relationship can survive with the pressure and the rumors of this particular school. 

So, they stay as acquaintances. Not even friends. They interact in school, a little wave when they join the lunch table, or a nod while passing through the hallways, hoping no one takes a significant notice. 

They stay the night at each other’s houses; the only time they can show the feelings for each other are at night, when there are no prying eyes trying to find and rip open the secrets, exposing their relationship to any and everyone. 

They’ve tried to end it, too. Goddammit, they’ve tried. What they have, you can’t just push aside. What they share as a bond and what they have with each other isn’t something you can forget overnight.

So, nights are the only times they can be their true, broken, hurting selves. Tears are spilled and hearts are poured out in the form of broken whispers. In the bedroom, nestled under the covers, it’s just them. 

Michael watches as different people flirt with Brooke in the school day; walking up, leaning against the locker and commenting god knows what, their words being more eloquent than he could ever manage. He doesn’t know why Brooke hasn’t moved on from him yet; someone else could love her. And they could love her better then he ever could. 

Friends should sleep in other beds. Friends should love someone other then each other. Friends shouldn’t hide secrets from the people they trust. 

Then again, they’re not friends, are they? 

That’s the only thing keeping Michael from being drowned in guilt. 

Brooke is clinging on to this relationship with everything she has; she doesn’t care how much pain she has to go through. She doesn’t care about the countless nights of crying with Michael, or the multitude of lies that pour from her lipgloss coated lips on a daily basis. 

She knows Michael better than anyone in this goddamn school, besides Jeremy. She herself tried to get over him when he brought it up. She couldn’t. 

His brown eyes had been filled with tears, sorrow sparkling as they spilled over, soaking his eyelashes and dripping down his cheeks. She could tell he didn’t want her to go; the loneliness in his eyes echoed back at her and she saw herself reflected back. 

That’s when she knew. If he was going to cry over her, if he was going to cry over them, it was worth it. It was worth it to lie. It was worth it to not be friends. It was worth it to ignore him in every scenario. It was worth it to be lonely, because they had each other in the end. 

And if this is what people in LGBT+, closeted relationships feel like, people who have no choice but to hide, she can only cry more tears for them because this SUCKS. And she knows it’s worse for them, and that she has nothing to compare to in the slightest. She just wants to find them right now, and give them a hug. Because this hurts. It hurts and they can’t even do anything about it. 

They just can’t risk it. She can’t take the one good thing she has in her life and throw it to the world, like a lamb to the slaughter. She can’t let the one thing she has be torn apart by peer pressure, rumors, and jealousy. 

Michael can’t bear to drag Brooke down to his level. He can’t make her feel so forgotten and lonely that she resorts to a squip. He already did that, once, and he refuses to do it again. 

They’re not friends. They’re not lovers in the eyes of anyone but each other, and they’re going to have to keep it that way. The tears, the sorrow, the many lies and harsh memories will all be worth it in the end. 

So, here’s to the rest of High School. Here’s to hiding. Here’s to lying. Here’s to being less than friends, and more than lovers, if that’s even possible.


End file.
